Red Flag?

I wonder... Is it a sign that you're overstressed when your two-going-on-three-year-old starts exclaiming "I can't take it anymore!"?!?

Addiction

As I mentioned in my "100 Things" post (have you all started yours yet?!?!?), I am addicted to Starbucks' Green Tea Frappucinos. I swear they put crack in those things! I finally decided to do a little research and see if I could make a smoothie of my own and save myself a little money- "little" being the operative word here. The green tea used in those Frappucinos is called matcha and it is very expensive. So expensive that it is sold by the gram, or sometimes ounce. Placing my first order for 100gms, I felt almost a little illegal, as though I were indeed buying drugs....

HUGE sigh of relief...

Did everyone hear that sigh? I figure it could be heard around the nation..... ;) Spoke with my bosses yesterday and they seem very open to me decreasing my workload, and in turn, working far less hours a week. This will allow me to be a more present mom in my children's lives. As I wrote to the owners last week "all my life, my dream was to have children. In that dream, I am either a stay-at-home mom, or work minimal hours and devote my time to my beloved children. I really need to pursue my dream to be true to myself." And it sounds as though they are going to help me realize that dream. Oh, happy, happy day!

Opportunity

Our Youngest had diarrhea the other day. Or more precisely very soft green bowl movements that occurred every five minutes for a half hour, stop, then start up again. Kobee Benobee had recently, as in the prior three days, been working on using the potty. He had wet his new undies earlier in the day, and so, was running around naked. Despite the small initial mess though, he mostly made it to the potty. Just a little bit down the leg. Having dealt with diarrhea and diapers in the past, I thought what the heck, I'll let him go without and see what happens. I encouraged him and congratulated him on making the potty. he said "that make you happy?" And I said "yes, that makes me happy." After cleaning up he was off. Soon I heard his feet pounding to the bathroom at a gallop and after a few minuets "I done Daddy". I headed to the bathroom to clean his bum and wash hands. Success. He got lots of practice running to the potty, putting on his potty seat, climbing up, aiming, and firing that morning. Unfortunately, he also got lots of practice getting thoroughly wiped. Poor little guy, his bum was super red from all the wiping. He did a great job though and I am proud of him. And thank The Lord he has shown such intrest in going to the potty.

100 Things About Me (Cal)

Got this idea from Chilihead.... 100 Things About Me, Cal 1. I am a redhead. Read into that what you will…. 2. My skin is rather pale and my choices for skin color are white, or red (sunburned). I choose white, thank you. 3. I first had a crush on my hubby at just 14 years of age. We got together at 17, but didn’t marry until we were each 25 (due to the fact that he promised to quit drinking as soon as we were wed- and he kept that promise). 4. I stood by my alcoholic fiancée’s side- and am glad for it. 5. I am now happily married to a wonderful non-practicing alcoholic who is a better person for defeating that monster inside. 6. I adore my children. 7. Before kids, the thought of death was uncomfortable; with kids it is all-out panic. There’s no way I am missing out on their lives! 8. I’m not a good house wife- my house is always a mess. 9. And I don’t believe people when they say their house is dirty like mine. 10. I want to learn to swing dance with my husband. 11. I’m not a good dancer. 12. I am fascinated by the wonder of nature. 13. I see beauty in the smallest of things- more so than the large, I think. 14. I am most happy in the mountains. 15. I love just being outside, really. 16. When I buy another house, I will probably be more concerned with the size and possibilities of the yard than with the house itself. 17. I hate the cold- cold weather, being cold, all of it. 18. I would live in Hawaii if I could, and my hubby would live in Alaska; so we stay here where we get all four seasons. 19. I have learned more from my children than vice-versa. 20. I want to make a difference in someone’s life. 21. I will hold a big giant tarantula and revel in its delicacy, but am scared of little tiny spiders tat couldn’t hurt a flea- it’s the fear of the unexpected quick jump that gets me. 22. I love being in the state of anticipation. You know, when you order something to be delivered via the mail and you get so excited to check the mailbox each day… 23. I am introverted. 24. I love Matcha Green Tea- especially of the Green Tea Frappuccino variety (courtesy of Starbucks). In fact, I think I may be totally addicted to them and may require an intervention to curb my habit. 25. Sometimes two of my fingers will get freakishly hot, while the rest of my fingers are freakishly cold. Strange, but true. 26. I remember my dreams nearly every morning. 27. Oftentimes, I have flashbacks of my dreams days, months, even years later. 28. I wish I could sleep without dreaming. 29. I am getting better at controlling my dreams. 30. I am clinically depressed and have taken medications since adolescence. 31. Ironically, I am a very happy person deep down inside. 32. However, I am also very empathetic and sensitive to those around me and can easily be dragged down when others are negative. Negative people drain my life force. 33. I am “having an affair” with Harry Potter. I can NOT put those books down! 34. I can be painfully shy in some circumstances and yet incredibly assertive in others- it all depends on whether I know people around me or not (I’m more shy around those that know me, oddly enough). 35. I love roller coasters. It’s funny; I’ll be shaking in my shoes absolutely terrified while waiting in line, but then sprint for the line again as soon as the ride is over. 36. I suffer from panic attacks. 37. My antidote to panic is walking barefoot in the grass (or at least being outside). 38. Ironically, though, when faced with a physical emergency, I am very level-headed and think quickly. 39. My biggest fear is going insane. Although that has lessened since I figured out that, were I truly insane, I would have no idea that I was. 40. As a child, my absolute worst nightmare was a film reel floating in dark space that depicted shots from my life that went on and on and on…. The thought that life may continue forever and ever frightens me. 41. I try to learn something from just about everything that happens in my life; especially by looking at things from other people’s perspectives. 42. This, I believe, is what makes me so good at customer service. 43. I believe most of humanity is inherently good. 44. I wish I had more friends- and more time to spend with them, too. 45. I am in heaven with a camera in my hand- I enjoy mostly candids of people and close-ups of nature. 46. Reading is a passion of mine, with some of my favorite authors being JK Rowling, Ken Follett, Dennis Prager, and JRR Tolkien. 47. I feel ill if I lay around too much, and get terrible headaches if I watch more than three hours of TV in a row. I never understood the appeal of movie marathons for that reason. 48. I detest snow skiing. 49. But waterskiing is a kick in my pants! I like the fact that if I get scared and want to stop, all I have to do is let go. 50. Even though I’m a rotten swimmer (form-wise), I love being in the water. 51. I hate to be breathed on- you know, when you’re spooning in bed and you can feel your hubby’s breath on your back? Yeah. Hate it. 52. I still have my childhood teddy bear. He’s battered, but beloved. 53. In my young teens- smack dab in the middle of the 80s- I once left my house after tightly curling my hair with hair spray without brushing it out first. It was beautiful, let me tell you. 54. I dream of being a black-belt martial arts master and having some unsuspecting stranger try to mug me- he won’t know what hit him! 55. I have never taken a martial arts class in my life. 56. I am not claustrophobic per se, but I do feel as though I am suffocating if I don’t have fresh air. 57. I secretly lust for Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs fame- oh, he can make me laugh! 58. I am a 35 year old mother of two, my sons are currently 4 and 2. 59. I have no idea what I want to do when I grow up. So many things interest me- how does one decide? 60. Music is instrumental in my life (pun intended!) Some of my favorite musicians are: KT Tunstall, Rob Thomas, Harry Connick Jr, Bing Crosby, Thomas Dolby, Basia, Edie Brickell, Paul Simon, Peter Gabriel, Robert Palmer, … I could go and on! 61. It’s late and I really need to go to bed, but I can’t stop working on this!  62. Parenthood has made me more understanding of other parents’ situations, such as seemingly ignoring a crying child. 63. Getting my hands dirty, planting flowers in my yard (or anyone’s for that matter) is pure bliss for me, and I rarely wear gloves to do so. 64. I am too chicken to put that I have the best sex in the world- yes, even after 17 years (who knew?!?!). 65. I am the youngest of four, with one brother and sister within 60 miles of me and the other brother a civilian working for the military in Kuwait. 66. I became an aunt at just 7 years of age, and am now aunt to 8 (inc spouses) plus step-aunt to four more, and great aunt to yet another four. 67. I regret that I don’t have a college degree. 68. Someday, I plan to go back to college (as soon as hubby graduates, that is). 69. My favorite ice cream flavor is cookie dough. 70. Spice cake is my favorite cake flavor. 71. I pine for the simple life, but admit that I have no real idea of what that is exactly. 72. Parenthood has changed me greatly- I find that I am far more tolerant, tired, and loving. 73. Parenthood has also changed my relationship with my hubby. It was rather rocky there that first year, but having gotten through that, we are now bound to each other incredibly strong. 74. I truly believe my husband and I are soul mates. 75. I can not imagine life without my husband and children. Being a mother is essential to who I am. 76. I believe that most of the youth-related problems we are having are a direct result of parents working more, and concentrating less on their own children. People seem to be expecting schools and the community to raise their children for them- and that bothers me. 77. I get very irritated when people take advantage of the fact that I don’t tailgate and cut in front of me on the highway. 78. I find great pleasure in walking my flower gardens after it rains, or even after I have just watered. The twinkling water drops held within the petals look like little diamonds from heaven to me. 79. Being short on both time and money, I exercise by running up and down the stairs in my house (usually 20-30 times) or doing jumping jacks while my four year old counts for me. I have found some other sneaky ways of getting exercise in my life, too. 80. I need more sleep. 81. I get wonderful ideas in my head about helping people or even just sending cards, etc to let someone know I’m thinking of them- I even write, address, and stamp them sometimes- but, for some unknown reason fail to follow through. 82. I wish my friends and others knew just how much I think of them. 83. I wish I could learn to finish what I start- then they would definitely know. 84. When I’m rich, the first thing I will do is hire someone to clean my house for me. Seems a win-win to me; they get paid to clean (which is the job they have chosen), and I get more free time with my family. 85. When I am extra happy- say, I obviously make someone’s day, do an extra good deed, or see one of my kids doing the same- I get so happy inside that I wonder if I might burst. 86. Receiving heartfelt love from my children has that same effect on me. 87. I often worry about the world my children will be living in years from now. I hope there will be less crime, more happiness, and plenty of natural areas left. 88. I believe nature is essential to the happiness of mankind. 89. One of my goals in life is to visit every National Park in the United States. I have only seen seven so far. Which means I can look forward to that much more adventure to come in my life! 90. I have always wanted to go to Scotland. 91. My first pane trip happened when I was seventeen years old and took me all the way to Germany! 92. I love flying, and wish I could do it far more often. 93. I also love to travel. I don’t really care what the destination is; I just enjoy the adventure, the newness, the learning, the bonding- the whole experience. 94. My desk at work is always a mess. It drives me nuts, but I just can’t seem to keep it cleared off. 95. I hold the positions of three separate people at my work. I am burning out. Quickly. 96. My husband and I take our non-delicate clothes to the Laundromat each week to be washed, dried, and folded for us. Before we discovered this service, we lived in totally wrinkled clothes that were stored in laundry baskets scattered around the house. 97. Now we wear nicely folded clothes that are stored in laundry bags scattered around our house. 98. I only wear t-shirts around others when I know I will be getting dirty. I think it shows respect to look nice. 99. I wish my sons would realize the joy of bike riding. They are both too scared to really try. I think they are really missing out. 100. I try to stay away from a lot of sweets, but ice cream and frozen yogurt are my weakness. I can’t turn them down. I can’t believe I finished this list! In doing so, I actually learned a lot about myself. This exercise forced me to do a lot of thinking and I recommend it to everyone!

Whoa!! Life, slow down a bit, will ya? I have too big news items to report: 1) AW is using the potty!!!! Up until yesterday, he would just downright refuse to sit on the potty. We didn't push it, we were anticipating that he would someday decide that he was going to use the potty. We may, just may, have hit that day! I was letting him run naked yesterday and he soon reported "mommy, my penis is starting to pee..." I rushed him off to the toilet, set him up and proceeded to read him some books to distract him. After a couple tries and several books, some pee came out. That was all the encouragement he needed, apparently. Once he realized how cool it was to pee right in to potty, he wanted to do it all the rest of the day! When the day was done, he had peed in the potty four times and even pooped in it too! This morning, upon waking, we put him right into underwear and he has been dry. So far, anyway. But I am hopeful.... 2) My other big news is that I have resigned my job of over 6 years. This is a risky decision, seeing as how I have no other job lined up, but my situation there has come to the point that it is poorly affecting my life at home and, as a result, my children as well. I come home grumpy, sometimes in tears, and spend a good amount of time upset. That's not fair to my children at all. I have been contemplating it for months now, knowing that when the time was right, I would know. It hit me like a brick. I was ready. And so, I did it. I have no clue what I will be doing now, but I am looking forward to broadening my horizons and stretching my brain a bit. If anyone has any leads for me to follow, let me know. Please!!

black shirt

HL was telling me the other day that he didn’t want a black shirt, because.… “Did you know, mommy, that light colors reflect the sun and dark colors soak it up? So if I wear black, I might get too hot.” I swear, this boy soaks up science info like a little sponge! I think science might just be the ticket to get him interested in real life again (as opposed to computers, I mean). I am very excited for him to start kindergarten and get to experience even more science…

Kid Update

Since I am a total slacker at scrapbooking, I use my blog to document things about my children that I don't want to forget. Here is a current update on both boys: AW: can count to twelve; can identify the letters A C D F G H K L M O P R S T U V W X Z; knows the colors red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, black, and white; often speaks in complete sentences; is also often difficult to understand, however; can identify several different bugs such as spider, scorpion, fly, bee, ant, cricket, butterfly, and worm; has quite the temper and insists on doing most everything himself- if he doesn’t get to, a terrible two-year-old tantrum will ensue… HL: loves to play games! Some of his current favorites are Sorry, Chess, Checkers, Battleship, Trouble, Tic Tac Toe, and Go Fish; can add and subtract in his head (sometimes even double-digit numbers); can count to at least 200; is learning to tell time; is able to read numerous words by sight and sound out many others; but is rather sensitive and easily upset or frustrated. We are working on taking deep breaths to calm down and then tackling the problem again. It seems to really help him- when he thinks to do it.

Computers! Argh!

I am rather upset by how much time HL spends on the computer. No, I take that back- it's not necessarily the time he spends on the computer, because we do limit him. The thing that upsets me is that, since getting into the high stimulation of computer games, he fails to see the wonder in the world around him. Nothing is interesting compared to what he can find on the computer. This is extrememly sad for me. While I do love working and playing on the computer, my idyllic life would contain very minimal electronics. Gone are the days of my innocent young son begging to go outside and work by mommy's side in the garden, getting dirty. Now it's a fight to get him out the door, he plays for ten minutes then comes running back inside to the glowing, mind-sucking monster that sits prominently in our living room. Oh! And here's another thing- he no longer sees animals as an innocent child would- no, he assigns damage statistics, power ratings, and life points to them. Splendid. Like I said, we do limit his time on the computer, and yet he is constantly asking if he can get back on. However, I noticed that he was getting up earlier and earlier in the morning so that he could play uninterrupted. Pretty smart of him, really- he asks us (so he doesn't get in trouble for not having permission) while we're still half asleep, if he can play. Drowsy and full of dreamy apathy, we agree. So then, the next step was that we set the rule that the computer can not be turned on before 7 in the morning.With that rule, he started crawling in bed with us when he awoke and reporting the time to me each minute that it changed. "It's 6:50, mommy... now it's 6:51... Oh! 6:52 now! Getting closer, mommy!... 6:53- that means only, ummm, seven minutes to wait!" Last night a dear friend (thanks W!) suggested that, instead of simply putting a maximum on his computer time, we set up scheduled times for him to be on the computer. If it is not between the times we specify, then he can not get on the computer. Period. And more than that, he can't even ask. I think I'll try it. Immediately.

He may be difficult, but he is polite...

We took the boys swimming the other day after they had spent the day with G-Ma and G-Pa and AW's blanket was inadvertently left at their house. My mom brought it over to where we were and left it in our car while we were frolicking in the water. When we got out to our car, AW noticed his beloved blanket and I explained that G-Ma had brought it for him. His response? "But mommy, I didn't say thank you".