Money. Who needs it?!

I have vacillated on whether to write about this subject for some time now. My hesitation comes from the fear that people will think I am complaining or asking for assistance. I have finally decided that, as this blog is meant to chronicle our lives, I definitely should... With Hubby in school full time, we have found ourselves in a rather precarious financial situation. We were doing just fine; we watched a little girl four days a week, he worked from home for my employer plus he works at his school doing Supplemental Instruction- I was even able to reduce my hours to three days a week. (Which, if I didn't, I would end up in an asylum- but that's another post...). Then, about six weeks ago, the mother of the little girl we watched was finally able to get her daughter in a day care in the same town where they live- and all of a sudden, we lost a quarter of our monthly income. On the surface, one might think "so get a full time job", but that really isn't the answer because my hourly rate is high enough that I would have to work overtime to get what I make in three days now. Plus, I would lose my other benefits such as free insurance and IRA-matching. Besides, my schedule is strange with Hubby in school and it would be difficult to find coverage for the days I am now home. So, Hubby has taken a few overnight shifts at work and picked up extra hours at both his jobs. We also, just last week, started watching another little girl two shorter days a week. My personal biggest contribution has been to greatly reduce our expenses. For example, we used to spend $125-$140 in groceries weekly. This week, I got by with spending only $80. And that's without using coupons. It's kinda funny- it's become a bit of a game for me to see just how little I can spend each week! It has required me to completely change how I shop and keep my kitchen. It's a lesson I hope will stick with me forever... We are so broke that I am really looking at life in a different light- what is needed to live, as opposed to what is merely desired. For years now, we have been blessed with lots of hand-me-downs for both the boys and even for me. Plus, I have found several ways to not spend money, some examples include: cutting my sons' hair myself, using the library for movies and music, going without extra things like perfume, and making gifts for Christmas instead of shopping. Speaking of Christmas, my sons will be receiving gifts that they (again) need, but also want, such as fun socks, new underwear, and cool toothbrushes. (Of course, Santa will bring a small toy for each, I'm sure...) But it's all okay. The boys will still have gifts to open, and we will still have a great Christmas. Even though our income has plummeted, Hubby and I are very strong in our belief that the Universe will provide. It is a lesson we have learned time and again throughout our lives: no matter what life dumps on you, each of us is also given what we need to survive. And, thus far, it has done just that. Here are some examples: I was given a Starbucks card (yippee!), I won $10 on a lottery ticket, we were given free tickets to a hockey game, my niece told us of a way to get low cost flu shots for the boys, and I learned that HL can join a sport for very little money. Plus, we greatly appreciate the thoughtfulness and generosity of my parents who have had us over for dinner, picked up groceries we use that they find on sale, and bought AW some much-needed pants. We even got "new" Christmas decorations through the creativity of Hubby's Grandmother! So far, we have only had to borrow a small amount to pay for HL's asthma meds and some groceries. I know, some of my examples sound so simple and small, but they really make a difference. When you are truly broke, you really learn that it is, indeed, the small things in life that matter most.

HL and wrestling

A friend of mine is a wrestling coach of youngsters and he talked me into bringing HL to practices. So we did. I expected a get together with a bunch of little kids having fun, with some moves taught and maybe a little free wrestling mixed in for good measure. What I got was an hour of sheer Mommy panic. Now, don't get me wrong, the coaches all acted very respectful and did nothing that I did not approve of, but the atmosphere was rather strict and very serious; completely different than anything HL has ever dealt with. I think it was more my empathy for my poor son who was thrown into a wrestling group with no preparation from his parents (since we, also, were not prepared). The boys were to stand still along the wall and watch the new moves for, oh, 10 minutes or so and then they were paired up with one other kid and practiced the move with a coach. HL was clueless, we had not even told him the object of wrestling or what to expect or anything. I was panicking because I felt so bad for him. I was feeling guilty for not preparing him. I was also projecting my own feelings onto him and assuming that he was embarrassed. But, at that point, he was just having fun... By the end of the hour, however, HL was done*. He came to us, shaking his head, holding back tears- and with a loose tooth. The newness and excitement had worn off long before- he had been bested by the other boy. He was humbled and broken-hearted. Here is a boy that has grown up sheltered- so far, he does only that at which he excels. Which leaves me in a quandary- my heart says "don't make him go back, it's not a good fit", while my analytical brain is sending the message that this is an opportunity to teach versatility and determination. And maybe the fact that he was so crushed is meant to show me that this is exactly what he needs to become a well-rounded person. But, did it have to be so drastic? I allowed myself to talk myself into letting him pass on wrestling this year. My excuse was that it wasn't fair to throw him in in the middle of the year. In other words, I was taking the easy way out. Then today I talked to my buddy the coach who explained that the practice we happened to attend was not the usual setup. Apparently, the usual lead coach was not able to come that night and the replacement coach was a high school coach- not accustomed to training younger kids. He told me that by the end of that evening, he had figured out HL's perfect partner- another very cautious little boy who often ends up crying from frustration. This was a relief to me, as that is likely how HL will be, too. Then he went on to tell me how crushed that little boy was that his new partner didn't show for practice last night. Alright. I get the message. HL and I will be there for practice tomorrow night... And yes, HL agreed to give it another try, too. *Hubby and I were very proud of HL for persevering through the entire hour even though he was hating it at the end. A real feat for our cautious little boy!*

School Stories

Every day when I pick HL up from school, my first question is always "how was kindergarten today?" The usual answers are positive but short; "fun", "great", "good", etc. A couple weeks ago, though, I got an entire paragraph out of him. I was shocked. It was apparently a news-worthy day... HL told me how a little boy in his class, C, kept pinching him even though he repeatedly asked him to stop. It got to the point that HL finally told his teacher Ms G and she tried to rectify the situation. But C kept it up until HL got pinched so hard, he had to go to the nurse's office- and C got sent to the principal. HL went on to tell me that because of the way C was acting, the class lost two gems out of their jar (the class gets a gem in a jar each time they act especially well, when they collect 10 gems, they get a prize)- and the class was mad about it. I found it a little strange that Ms G didn't mention anything to me, but HL never had any other problems, so I kind of forgot about it. That is, until HL's parent teacher conference, when having time to actually talk to Ms G jogged my memory. I asked about the incident. She had NO IDEA what I was talking about. She said she may have corrected C and forgotten it, but HL definitely had never gone to the nurse's office; nor did any of the rest of it happen. Excuse me?!? HL had so many little details and covered all possible angles of the story. I had no doubt whatsoever that it all happened. I was floored. HL was a deer in headlights... As this was his first fibbing incident, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I know that his mind is just chock-full of imagination and I like to think that he was just telling a story, as opposed to intentionally telling a lie. He agreed that he needs to alert us if he is telling a story and agreed to preface stories with phrases such as "let's pretend..." or "what if..." Then this evening, I learned that HL's dad did almost the same exact thing when he was in kindergarten! The only difference being that he was telling stories to his teacher, not the other way around. My MIL remembers going to his very first parent teacher conference and learning that his teacher was completely misinformed about her husband. How funny is that? Is it possible that rampant imagination and a tendency to tell fibs is hereditary? Hmmmm...

Playin' in the leaves

Click!

Just got back from a stroll at the park. While there, HL asked if he could take a picture of the rest of us (Me, Hubby, and AW). Normally, I would answer without hesitation and hand HL my little Kodak with an LED screen. It's cheap, it's easy to use, and I definitely want to encourage him to like photography. However, today I only had my nice, expensive, heavy Canon with no ability to use the screen when shooting pictures. But still, I relented and handed over my camera. After a quick little lesson in where to look and what button to push, I went to sit on the bench as he instructed. Click. Then, click again. Click, click, click, click- in quick succession. "Just two more, okay?" HL asks. Click, click. "Okay, just one more..." Click. Yep. Just like his ol' ma- snapping pictures left and right. From our side of the lens, it did not look promising. It looked as though he was taking a picture of our waists. I was surprised to find that every picture he took was well centered. No heads cut off, and all three of us were in every shot! Here is the best one of that bunch: Apparently, he enjoyed taking pics because he kept my camera and turned his attention to all the birds in the lake. Again, here is my favorite of those pictures: Then, I was instructed to pose in front of the lake for a picture of just me:   To finish off the shots at that location, HL took a picture of his parents... He shot a bunch more shots of plants and such, and every one of them was done well. I was impressed. Oh, I am just absolutely tickled pink that he enjoys photography! Now I have a buddy for all my outdoor photo expeditions! My only regret is that I did not have my Kodak camera so that I could get a picture of my young son with a great big camera covering his face, his little fingers barely able to reach the button! (all pictures shown are exactly as HL took them- no editing or cropping was done.)

Voting

While I see the advantages and lure of voting by mail, I fear its consequences even more. Every year, I make it a point to include my children when I physically go vote. I see it as an opportunity to talk to them about what I'm doing, discuss the issues at hand, and explain our right- nay, our duty- to vote. It seems to me that we as a society keep taking things out of the sight of children, causing each generation to lose just a little more respect for their elders. One example is that it used to be that children worked right alongside their parents. They saw just how hard their parents worked, resulting in great respect. As the generations have gone by, more and more parents are working away from their children- kids no longer have any idea just what their parents do, or that their parents work very hard every day. They only see their mom or dad (or both) leave in the car each morning and return sometime later in the day. For all they know, we are playing at the park without them! As a result, the work ethic has plummeted, the family unit is disconnected and children have less respect for their parents/elders in general. I know that advances in technology and the pace of our society make it difficult to include our children in all the workings and I lament that fact. Being just one person with little ambition for changing the world, I do my part for my own kids by including them in as much as I possibly can; I take them shopping with me, run my errands with them in the car, and have them help with housework. And, of course, take them voting with me every year.

Saturday's spontaneity

Nearly at the last minute Saturday morning, we all decided to go check out our community college's aviation department's open house. And what a great decision it turned out to be! Here is how we ended up spending our Saturday: We walked the boys out to a Cessna and HL was able to play with the yoke and see all the dials. AW, on the other hand, was too scared to get anywhere near that cockpit. He wouldn't even look at it, in fact. At the event, they were offering 20 minute Cessna rides for just $10. As Hubby and I had never been on a small plane before, we decided to give it a go. While I was terribly excited, I was just terrified to get on that plane. And Hubby downright refused right up to the very end, but then changed his mind. My parents bought us three tickets in the hope that HL would go, but he did not want to, so Papa went in his stead. The ride was absolutely incredible!! And not scary at all. Papa up front. A picture of our house from the air- can you find it? Hubby and I squished into the little back seat. Then, a miracle happened. As we were walking to our car, both of our boys suddenly decided that they did, indeed want to go up in a plane. We contemplated spending the money- we really can't afford it, but neither can we afford to let this opportunity slip away. It was such a beautiful day, and there was virtually no turbulence... Then, we were given one free ticket and that was the kicker. We bought more tickets so the boys could experience flight (neither of them had ever been on any plane before). HL with his official headset on. Looking a little trepidacious, but enjoying himself thoroughly. AW and Mommy in the newer, rather Jetsons-looking, Diamond Star plane. Neither of the boys showed any fear and both completely loved the flight! AW was excitedly pointing out things he saw; "there's the river!" " A farmer!" "Look at the cows!" Hubby said HL was rather serious, but loved every minute of it! What a grand day!

HL's Independence- or lack thereof...

Posting about AW's independence got me thinking about HL's lack of the same... HL often resists independence to the point of driving his parents mad. He knows and we know that he can things on his own, but he will just downright refuse most of the time. Extremely frustrating, I tell you. I suspect that a portion of his attitude has to do with having a little brother who needs/ed help continuously- HL sees AW getting all this attention needing help, so he tries to put himself in the same situation. Our response has been something to the effect of "you can do it yourself now, or wait patiently until I am ready to help you." Unfortunately, he often ends up in trouble for not being patient, causing the situation to quickly deteriorate. Even his teacher is noticing this behavior and mentioned it at our parent-teacher conference. I hope that AW's new self-sufficiency will prompt HL to do the same, because I am truly getting frustrated by his behavior and am searching for a solution...

AW Update

Little AW is now 100% potty-trained! Yay! He has, however, had three night-time accidents in the past six or seven weeks, but I can tolerate that. During the day, he just gets up and goes to the bathroom by himself- after announcing to the world that he has to pee, of course. He even puts his little seat on, climbs up, and poops all by himself. And, just yesterday, he discovered he can open the screen door alone- we used to have to let him back in the house to go, but not anymore! He can get his own shirts off, put on his shoes by himself, helps set and clear the table... Oh! And just the other day, he poured himself a cup of milk. He is really becoming little Mr. Self-Sufficient. What a great thing to see!

The boys were up and playing in the living room this morning while I lazily hung out in bed. Suddenly, AW throws my bedroom door open to exclaim: "I like you, mommy!" "I like you too" I reply. "Does that make you happy?" "Yes, it does, AW" Slam. He's gone. That was all he had to say. Actually, he says and asks that quite often- several times a day, in fact. It's awful cute. And here are a couple other cute "A-isms": "You're going to jail!!" which means he's angry at you, "Parmers" for parmesan cheese, and "Santis Claw" for Santa Claus.

Halloween

My boys and their cousins, ready to terrorize the neighborhood! (AW is Spiderman, HL is a Recon Commando)

Bug-a-Boo

Here are some pictures from the Bug-a-Boo we attended at the local butterfly museum. The boys' Aunt L joined us and we all had a nice afternoon there.

Getting Brave

At a recent Halloween celebration, my terribly cautious-to-a-fault oldest son decided to hold a tarantula! He just walked right up to her and said "I'll hold her." Didn't even flinch. Now, anyone who knows HL well, will also realize what a shocking bit of news this is. He is the child who refuses to touch or try anything even slightly out of his comfort zone. I was/am so proud of him!

Growing up

Well, a couple weeks ago, HL lost his very first tooth. Hubby and I figured he had only lost the baby one due to the fact that it had been hit, but we were wrong. In fact, HL already has a new adult tooth coming in- and quickly- as you can see from the picture. And now he already has a second loose tooth. To further illustrate how quickly HL is growing up on me, he announced a couple weeks ago that I am no longer allowed to see him naked. Completely out of the blue. I was blindsided. This really is going just a bit too fast for me. Can't someone please figure out how to make children not grow up so fast? Please?

AW

Some pictures need no words...

Fall Pics

Here are some pictures I took during a beautiful afternoon in Riverside Park with Grandma and Grandpa...