Church

I am on a mission, a mission that is turning out to be rather disappointing for me- I am trying to find a church to join. This is fast becoming a priority, as I want my children to be able to experience the joys of belonging to a church youth group. Growing up, the friends and connections I made in my youth group were paramount. I want that for my boys. Even though I grew up Lutheran and attended regularly both on Sundays and Wednesdays, I never really internalized their beliefs. That's not to say that I am not spiritual- I am, very much so. It's just that my God doesn't completely fit into organized Christian beliefs. Here are the differences I am struggling with: - I refuse to believe that God would not allow people into Heaven just because they had never heard of Jesus. To me, God is an all-loving, generous, accepting Being that will welcome people to Heaven if their heart is in the right place. I believe God presents himself in several different ways, to reach out to people in varying cultures. If you notice, Buddhism, Christianity, Taoism, Judaism and other religions all preach the same basic principle of respect and caring; to follow the Golden Rule, as it were. I believe in Jesus, I just don't believe,as Christians do, that He is the ONLY way. I think God is THE WAY. - Most Christians I've met believe that God reaches inside them and takes control. They believe that God is in control of their choices, their decisions, their circumstances. I disagree. To me, God loves us enough to allow us to make our own decisions. He provides opportunities for great things to happen in our lives, but leaves it to us to make the right choice. He trusts us to follow the proper path. And in doing so, He creates stronger characters in us. If God controlled all we do, why would we ever sin? It just doesn't make sense to me. I think that the better the choices I make, the more rewards I will see. And by choices, I don't mean just intentional decisions; my definition includes choosing to see the positive, learning from setbacks, and forgiving others. The boys and I have visited several churches now (and Hubby even comes once in a while) and we just haven't found the perfect fit yet. We have found two that are definite candidates, but one is loved by the boys, the other is the one I prefer. And so, I am coming to the point where I vacillate between finding a church with a dynamic youth group for my children or trying to locate a church that parallels my beliefs. Guess I will just keep attending different churches... I imagine my heart will tell me when I have found the right one.

Asthma

As many of you know, HL was officially diagnosed with Asthma in November. He was put on the preventative Pulmicort which is an inhaled powder steroid. Within a week, he no longer needed his albuterol, and he had stopped his dry coughing that he's had for years. As he had always had this dry cough, we just figured it was the dry air here and never really thought twice about it. Apparently, it was asthma all along. Anyway, due to premiums increasing to ungodly levels, we had to change the boys' health insurance coverage. We found a policy that cut the monthly premium in half, but they refuse to cover any medications that are not generic. Fine. Then, we discover that there are no generic medications to treat asthma; the Pulmicort he was on costs $130/month. Not so fine. When we told his doctor this, he gave us several weeks worth of another preventative (Singulair) in samples. HL does okay on this, but not as well as he did on the Pulmicort. On Monday, we took HL to an asthma specialist who was nonplussed by the fact that our insurance was refusing medications. By doing that, he says, the insurance company increases the risk of having to pay hospitalization costs. Their shortsighted frugalness will only backfire. He gave us several more weeks of samples and promised to write a letter to the insurance telling them just how ridiculous they are being. Oh, it feels good to have him on our side. He seems like a really great guy! One more little thing about asthma- AW seems to have had his first asthma attack this past Sunday night. Splendid, eh? He was sleeping with us in our bed, then woke up with a start, gasping for air. He sounded croopy to me, so I did the shower steam therapy which helped a little but not much. Then, I took a chance and gave AW two puffs of HL's albuterol. That did the trick. He was breathing well enough to fall back asleep. Perhaps we taught HL to share a bit too well...

Illness Report

I hope that I am not jinxing myself with this post... So far this winter (knock on wood) we have been very fortunate in the illness department. I had feared that as soon as HL went into kindergarten we would be inundated with nasty germs and steady colds. But, until two weeks ago, we had nothing. Then, two weeks ago, HL gradually started coughing on Tuesday. Wednesday, he was coughing but was well enough to go to school. By Wednesday evening, however, he was nursing a fever and coughing almost continuously. It was obvious that he couldn't attend Royal Rangers (explanation in a following post) that evening as he couldn't even get a word in between coughs to protest! That night, he coughed quite a bit in bed so when I woke up I asked him how he was feeling. "Not good", he said. I kept him home from school. But not an hour later, he was up and playing; still coughing, but feeling okay. Then, on this Tuesday (what is it with Tuesdays?!) AW started coughing. As with his brother, he was coughing a little on Wednesday but did just fine at preschool. I picked him up, we went to the post office and came home for lunch. Somehow between the time leaving his school and getting home, he became too sick to even sit at the table for lunch. He just laid still and quiet on the couch. AW. Quiet. And still. Unbelievable, I know. This is how I knew he was very, very ill. His temperature was up to 102.5, his breathing was shallow, his cheeks flushed, and his eyes were bloodshot and so watery that tears rolled down his cheeks. I called the doctor; he said it sounded like RSV and prescribed Prednisolone for inflammation. Within an hour of receiving Pred and Tylenol, AW was up, building Legos! And Thursday, he was coughing and still breathing a little shallow, but certainly tolerable- back to the AW we know so well. So, even though we were struck with two bad bouts with coughs, I still consider us very fortunate. How many parents can say that their child healed in just a day?!? And how do I get this ability; to heal so quickly?

Nightmares

HL has been having issues with persistent nightmares waking him up. He asked me the other night why this is happening to him, so we tried to think up ways to prevent the bad dreams. Since his nightmares always revolve around death and destruction, we discussed focusing on happy thoughts throughout the day. As it seems his mind is fixated on destruction and violence (such as Lego Star Wars and Superheroes), I figured this would be a challenge. But I had no idea just how much of a challenge until a follow-up conversation with him as we were laying down last night: "H, what happy thoughts are you thinking as you fall asleep?" "I can't think of any..." "How about building Legos or something?" "Oh, yeah! I could think about building a fire-breathing dragon!!" (Mommy sighs) "I was thinking more about building something else- something like boats, maybe." "Like the two boats I made at Grandma's house. But one of those got bombed and the other one was destroyed in a whirlpool...."