Update sadness

Just updated my previous post about AW wanting so badly to go to school with his brother and it left me terribly sad. Sad because, as his mom, I shouldn't have to hear from my hubby how AW acts day to day. This working full-time thing really sucks. Yes, I take great comfort in the fact that at least they're with their daddy, but still... So many moments that I miss. Never to be replayed. (For those of you who don't know us, I'm working full-time so that Hubby can go to school and get an accounting degree. He's at home during the day, at school in the evening.) Perhaps this is part of the reason I've been down lately. At least one reason for it is the fact that I am stuck taking a too-small dose of my antidepressant thanks to a billion-dollar-profit-making insurance company that is unwilling to pay a mere $60/ month for a poor person's sanity. I don't think it's so much to ask- I mean what are they going to do with another $60 a month?!? That's nothing more than a pebble of sand in their beach..... But anyway, back to me. I try not to write posts like this, I try so hard to focus on the good, but I am having a rather difficult time. For a while there, I was doing well- exercising, eating right, feeling almost good. But lately I can't seem to muster enough energy to do anything beneficial for myself. Which just serves to make me feel more guilty. Which makes me eat another couple M & Ms, which makes me feel even more guilty.... you get the picture. Here's hoping it's cyclical- as I have found most of my life to be- and I will swing back around to the healthy eating exerciser I was not too long ago. And hopefully that happens sooner than later. UPDATE: Hubby, I know what you're going to think of this post and that is not my intention in the least. I'm just venting my feelings, preventing an explosion. I agreed to this arrangement, and I plan to follow through. You deserve this and our family will be better off afterward. I understand that. It's just hard for me, is all. Please understand. And now, I hear a midnight snack of comfort food calling....