HL and the Baby

Even though Hubby and I did not plan to tell either of our sons about the baby until after we made it beyond the first trimester, HL figured it out the very day we found out! He can be in another room, concentrating fully on some other item, and still hear what is said in another room! I don't know how he does it, and I fear I may never get used to it, either. Anyway, the day I discovered I was pregnant, I was also having horrible pains in my lower abdomen. The doctor tested me for pregnancy which, obviously, was positive. I was shocked. We had tried for months then decided now was not a good time after all- and that's when we got pregnant. But I digress; the doctor then sent me in for an ultrasound to make sure the pain was not caused by an ectopic pregnancy (where the egg lodges in a fallopian tube). The boys were with my parents while I was doing all this and I was talking to my mom on my cell phone, explaining it all, while I waited for my ultrasound. Later that evening, while we sat eating our dinner, HL asked "Mommy, are you pregnant?" Again, I was shocked. "Do you know what that means? Pregnancy?" "It means you're going to have a baby. Are you?" "I am." Intuitive, good-eared little stinker. But that's not the end of this story- oh no! Something else Hubby and I were planning to do together later today was tell HL about the miscarriage. However, I was on the phone today talking to a friend about what was going on while HL played in the other room. At one point, I said "the baby is dead..." and HL came running to me "the baby is dead? The baby is dead?!?" I quickly got off the phone to talk to my eldest. I explained that when babies are so tiny and are still in their mommy's tummy, they don't yet have all their parts; they're still growing them. Sometimes, I said, some of the parts get jumbled up and the baby doesn't make it*. I explained that none of us had any control over it, it just happens sometimes. It is very sad. I'm sorry that this happened. From the very minute he heard I was pregnant, HL was extremely excited to have another little baby in the house. He talked about how he was going to read books to his new brother (he was set on having a boy). We'll have to feed him, help change his diaper, and find rattles for him; he would tell AW. At least weekly he asked when the baby was going to come home. Oh, it was adorable- and encouraging- to see. Hubby and I were terrified to break this sad news to him. It would break his heart. This brings us to my third shock of the story.... After giving it some thought, the first thing HL said was "But mommy, all my parts got put together, right? And AW's too. That's a good thing. Oh, and I'm glad your parts are right or you couldn't be my mommy now." Of course, he did also say how sad it made him feel, and that he had really wanted another brother, but was completely level-headed through it all. Relief pulsed through me- in more ways than one. He had not only assuaged my fears of telling him, but said just the thing I needed to hear as well. I wonder if I will ever fully realize the perception children have. *Thank you, CK, for the suggestion.