Today

I believe I may be starting to pull out of this depression funk. What makes me think that? Just this evening, my thoughts have begun switching from sadness to... Anger. Yes, anger. I am angry that society puts such a stigma on depression. It is a physical disease, a chemical imbalance. Those who suffer from depression are no more "bad people" than those who suffer from diabetes or hypothyroidism. I have a disorder that requires me to take medication in order to maintain my health- again, just as a diabetic or someone with hypothyroidism does. Why the stigma?!? I'm also angry that certain medical professionals have been so against taking antidepressants during pregnancy. My OB's nurse, among others, just kept saying "get off the Zoloft for pregnancy". I was terrified of possibly hurting my (as of yet unconceived) baby. I went off Zoloft. It left me in such a state that I was, at times, suicidal. And when I learned that I am pregnant, I was horrified. What would happen to my baby? I obviously must be on Zoloft- regardless. I told my doctor that without the little Zoloft I am on, my life is in peril. She took it completely in stride, said the new findings are that Zoloft is probably not dangerous to the fetus. She even told me that I could bump up my dose after the first trimester if I need to! Had I known that to begin with, I never would have weaned myself off it! I would now be able to actually enjoy this glorious miracle of pregnancy instead of digging myself out of depression oblivion. GRRRR.... Yes, I think I am coming out of it. Anger is definitely a good sign.