The Two Boys

It has been amazing to me just how different two young brothers can be from each other. My inexperienced mind was expecting that, since both boys come from the same genes and are raised in the same environment, they would be rather similar. But NO. They do, of course, have similar interests and like a lot of the same toys, but their personalities really could not be more different... HL is usually a pretty laid back fellow. He does, initially, get upset by unmet expectations, but quickly rebounds. But, he is disgusted by talk of anything remotely gross (Shrek, for instance), and does NOT like Spiderman due to the fact that he is, well, a spider. The Halloween aisle at the stores is off-limits because it is too scary. HL is sensitive and most often rather easy to discipline; he gets upset when he thinks he has done something wrong. This sensitivity comes through physically, too- he is more easily sunburned, has asthma worse, etc. He is also all boy in his interests: battles, space video games, bloody history (Romans, wars, etc), and wants to play strategy games like Conquest of the Empire. AW, on the other hand, seems to bounce from one end of the spectrum to the opposite. He is generally the most cuddly, thoughtful, sweet little boy- until something sets him off- then, he is inconsolable. Discipline with him is rather difficult, and I am struggling to best him in that arena. While his brother is more book-smart, AW is smart in another way- he is good at manipulating things. He loves everything creepy, (especially Spiderman!)and can NOT wait for Halloween to get here. AW is our physical son, our potential athlete. And sensitive? Nah. I can't tell you how many times I have watched those two wrestle, cringing, just waiting for the screaming to start... when AW will pop up, laughing hysterically. As for interests, he is like his brother in that they both like super heroes and Transformers, but then branches to more compassionate things like caring for his stuffed animals, and playing in the flower garden (albeit as a jungle for his action figures). The differences boggle my mind. However, now that I am in this situation and I talk to other parents of more than one child, I am learning that this really is very common. It seems to be a first child/ second child issue. I imagine it has a lot to do with the fact that child number one has far more one-on-one attention, while the next feels he/she has to compete for it and likely feels inadequate compared to the older sibling. Knowing this, I am trying to give AW more times where he has my undivided attention while brother is at school. And it does seem to help make him a bit more manageable. Regardless of the opposites in my children, I find that I love each just as much as the other- for differing reasons. So then, perhaps this is God's way of creating a parent's love for each child that is like that of no other; giving each child in the world a love all his own.